My Reality

twerking-with-assquatch:

twerking-with-assquatch:

twerking-with-assquatch:

twerking-with-assquatch:

twerking-with-assquatch:

what happens if you run in front of a car

you get tired

what happens if you run behind a car

you get exhausted

this is comedy gold. you should take notes

(via aliensliketoeatdinosaurs)

themysterywhichbindsmestill:

ellen-deselfish:

goreandmutilation:

i said i was going to run away and get married but my mom said i

Thats a fricking rockmelon in Australia so this was the most confusing crap ever. “i said i was going to run away and get married but my mom said i rockmelon” 

that’s what you australians get for naming stuff weird.

(Source: bunnylick, via aliensliketoeatdinosaurs)

mememaster:

swanepeols:

coldcoffeh:

when you’re so pale that your bare legs reflect sunlight and shine bright like diamonds

shine bright like a white kid

Like a white kid in July

is it weird that i could hear “shine bright like a white kid” like rihanna?

or.. 

(via aliensliketoeatdinosaurs)

sweetguts:

almost 15 years after its original explosion of popularity, pokemon’s fanbase rejoices over news you can now walk diagonally in the newest game

(via crystophcoco)

madturbating:

in math: ill see you calculater

(via aliensliketoeatdinosaurs)

so this weekend was mothers day on sunday and my little brothers 18th birthday monday right? so i decided to spend the weekend at my moms to spend lots of time with them, especially since in the past 5 months ive seen them enough times to only count on one hand. while andys away at school and moms at work i piddled around doing dishes and cleaning up the house for her, when mom would get home i would sit and have tea and talk with her till she was tired and then we would say good night and go to bed. this morning as she was leaving for work she poked her head in to say she was leaving and that there was a bag downstairs for me with some peanut butter and bread to take home if she missed me, and wanted me to know that the bag was mine to take home whenever i leave to go back to my “other home”.. so i said thank you, we said our I love yous and she left and i went back to sleep.

i came downstairs to do the dishes from andys birthday party and saw the bag so i decided to look in it..

this* is what hurt me so bad that i’ve now been crying for the past 15 mins:

“Angela, Thanks for spending some time with me . Here is a little something 

love u**

Momo :)”

*its a sticky note attached to a 10$ bill

** the u has eyes on top to make it a cute smiley

*** i love my mom to bits, shes the cutest, sometimes immature, punny, loving and caring person that i wish i got along with 100% of the time, this is why i get over protective of her, and why i get mad when she gets into situations that could get her hurt or used.

the fact that my mom just paid me to hang out with her makes me feel like the worst daughter in the world.

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